Behind the Scenes of Passing the Torch, Cash Flow Fixes, and Keeping the Peace in a Family Business

Lessons We Didn’t Learn in School

When Kim asked me what I’d learned later than expected, I had to laugh, because the list is embarrassingly long. Top of mind: formal leadership. I’d been running teams for decades, but it wasn’t until Boy Scouts (yeah, thirty years in!) that real leadership training hit me. Turns out, there was a lot I still didn’t know.

And don’t get me started on cash flow. After years of thinking we had it handled, we hired some consultants who basically flipped our world upside down, in a good way. Kim reminded me of the “Profit First” overhaul in 2019. We changed our entire system in one afternoon, and the results showed up fast. If only we’d done it years earlier! Kim had a great line about learning a life lesson in her forties, “What somebody else thinks of you is none of your business.” We both agreed it’s one we wish we’d learned in our twenties.

Letting Go But Still Being There

When Tom and Shirley handed the reins to Kim and me, the whole vibe shifted, but they didn’t vanish. Tom couldn’t just call and demand fixes anymore, though old habits lingered for a bit. Eventually, he found his groove as the occasional advisor and not-so-secret shopper at our Dairy Queens (most of our staff don’t even realize who he is!).

We’ve bought Dairy Queens from other owners and seen every type: the one who can’t stop meddling, the one who disappeared immediately, and the one who became our best customer and a resource. Tom and Shirley were somewhere in between, always happy to answer questions but not getting in our way. Honestly, having them around for advice has saved our bacon more than once!

Keeping Respect Alive

How do you keep respect alive between generations? Tom says he’s always respected his dad, and honestly, that attitude just carried over. If you don’t respect the people you work with, why bother?

Kim believes respect is given until it’s lost, not earned. She’s wired that way, and it made working together pretty natural. For me, respect’s about doing what you say you’ll do. There’s no magic formula, but showing up and being reliable makes life smoother both for business and family.

Availability Beats Authority

Something we see a lot: sometimes just being available is more valuable than authority. Tom’s still hanging around the business, even though technically he could have retired ages ago and Shirley’s the queen of helping out with “what paperwork do I need?” style questions. Kim and I are just a phone call away when things go sideways. Sometimes, you don’t need to be the boss; you need to be present.

Every Family’s Different, Find What Works for You

If there’s one thing all these stories show, it’s that family business transitions have no set rules. Your personalities and relationships matter more than following anyone else’s playbook. What works for our family might not fit yours and that’s completely okay.

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Check out episode 83 right here for the full conversation. And make sure to read our other blogs for more family and business insights!